I have bitched about more subjects than I care to go back and read up on. I have whined and sounded sorry for myself. I have been conflicted on life’s big questions such as “what am I going to do with music…………” Hahahah.
Well knee deep into my 2nd year over 30, 2 children, 50% less vision, and a myriad of other reasons makes me step back and think. What in the world am I so conflicted for? I believe that I felt like if I didn’t keep some part of my childhood, yes I am now referring to my early to mid 20’s as childhood, that I wouldn’t be happy. On the contrary. I think I spent most of my 20’s not actually being me. Spending my time essentially just “hanging out” rather than doing the things that make me happy. No wonder I’ve been so conflicted.
I picked up an instrument for the first time in years a few months back and completely forgot how fulfilling it feels to produce music with your hands, rather than beat match someone else’s or sit in front of a computer screen. I forgot a lot about how I grew up and the things that I truly loved and the ways I was raised in the span of about 10 years. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I enjoy going out and hearing music at the club, kicking it with friends, and if the music REALLY moves me (which frankly doesn’t happen much at the club) I might shake it a litttle on a dance floor.
Being so mixed up in what am I doing with my musical ability made me forget one of the single most important reasons to have the ability. Sharing it with family and friends. Growing up that is exactly what we did. My grandfather, Dad, uncle, frinds of the family would all pile into living rooms and garages and play music together. Sing and laugh and thoroughly life. I don’t think cooping myself up in a room with headphones on staring at a screen is the way I was meant to be.
There’s that and everything else I had either forgotten or am learning that I take great pride and joy in. As a kid, we pretty much weren’t allowed indoors. So most TV shows and pop music on MTV from that era I only know anything about because oflate night reruns and 80’s nights. The damn outdoors. I can’t begin to describe how fun it is to work in my garden or stir up a compost pile. Being outside sweating and working is what humans were designed to do. Not sit on couches and in desk chairs. I even enjoy pushing a lawn mower. A gym membership? Come climb trees to cut limbs down, haul loads of mulch from one side of the yard to another, or shovel gravel with me for a weekend.
Call it an era of self actualization for me that has been a long time coming. Anyways, call it a rant I guess. The intention wasn’t to rant. Only to inform. As a result I am completely changing up the website here pretty soon. I have been working on a family tree so I will head down that path with the site. Hopefully family members of mine can log on, upload pictures, and help fill in any blanks I can’t with the tree.


I have really been wanting to do some travelling. I want to take Melissa to Europe badly. Greece, Italy, wherever. So that has had me dreaming about my only two visits to Europe. Once to Amsterdam and once to Belgium. I have been meaning to finish this for years now and I finally did. A little visual representation of all the